Meant To Be Or Not Meant To Be....?

  Everything happens for a reason, right?  People say it all the time and with my new attitude I have decided to to believe it blindly because I am happier that way. Plus it takes away any responsibility on my part for something that may have gone wrong.  If you can't change it there is no point in pondering it. 
  For years whenever someone said that everything happens for a reason I would respond "really, fine, what is it, because I want to know right the hell now!"  I needed to find the justice, the fair play.  I wanted it to make sense to me.  Justified events good or bad I could accept.  Not justified, and I was irate.  Only nice people, who honestly need the money should win the lottery and only mean, evil people with bad taste, who don't like dogs, who drink moxie should have diseases and bad luck!  This is what I thought and apparently I was wrong.  Real estate moguls  do win the lottery and some very sweet and lovely people are sick, alone, in pain, lonely, sad and destitute.  I am pissed about that still.  No animal or child should ever have to suffer for their innocence. 
  But I have come to know that I may not like it but my view of the big picture distorted or limited and I must accept that all things, good and bad happen whether or not it is fair I need to let it go.  Control the things you can.  So try to keep the evergy positve when you are dealing with someone who is coping with something difficult. Keep your thoughts in check so that you are in a good place.  Most important do not fume and stammer over all that is unjust.  Act positvely to effect change if you can.  When you can't, remember that stewing is just keep you in the frequency with the very things that are ticking you off......    
  The road to peace is paved with acceptence, tolerance and forgiveness ...

elle

Fear.....

  There is nothing worse than being afraid!  Your spine tingles and your stomach becomes a pit. Your mouth is dry and you cannot not focus.  Intense fear can be almost be an out of body experience.  If you have read my other posts you must be thinking that this is off topic for me, but it isn't.
  I believe in all the things I have said, I honestly do. But if I'm being honest there is still fear.  Gratitude is a huge help but let's face it, fear is like a mouse it gets in where it wants to, it's hard to get rid and leaves little pieces of  **** around to let you know it's there.  The things that scare the hell out of us, where do they come from??  Phobia based fears I think, are like parasites that attach to us as we grow.  It's something in how we are raised or some seed out parents planted that has come to grow. 
  But it's the other kind of fear, like fear of death, growing old, disease, loss, aging, poverty.  What do you do with that mess? First and most important is to force yourself to focus and quickly and on something good, anything good.  Oreos, that works for me. Shift off the fear channel as fast as you can. Now start the gratitude and don't stop until the fear subsides.  It can and will return but each time do the same thing.  "Fear not..."  Easier said than done.  The truth is that 70% of the daily things that come up and cause everything from fear to concern never come to pass or turn out to be a blessing in disguise.  The things that do turn are often not as bad as we think.  All I can say stick to the things we have already talked about.  Find something good to focus on.  Focus hard enough to bring the emotion of happiness or at the very least I will settle for calm and so you raise yourself to a more positive plain, use gratitude to stay there.  Imagine and believe that things just have a way of working out for you.  It's just your lot in life to fall in a pile of crap and rise up out of it smelling like a rose.  It works, it really does.....

Meditation Update:  OK, it's not going so well.  If the things I need to do life better are love, gratitude, positive thinking, random acts of kindness and meditation than 4 out of 5 aren't sooo bad.  I'm not giving up I just can't quiet my mind!   My thoughts are like a news reel loop and is pisses me off!  Even positive thoughts are noisy.  Maybe I will just take a break from trying to meditate for awhile it's not going to work if I'm mad at it........ elle

Choices & Perception

  I had been an adult for a long time before I was willing to take responsibility for my emotions, perceptions and decisions.  Are our parents so caught up in the power of parenting that they don't teach us to to be the captain of out own adventure?  No one ever told me as a child I could control my responses.  I had the hardest struggle with realizing that no one could hurt my feelings unless I let them.  I still struggle with that, even though I accept it as truth. 

  It makes any day more welcoming to know that you can control how you will feel.  You are quality-control in your day, all day, everyday!  I don' think I worried about happiness and being positive when I was young.  It didn't seem in short supply.  After all life was full of firsts.  There were just grand canyons full of things to look forward to.  There was a minimal amount of responsibility lightly shaken with the bliss of ignorance and topped with youth and a side helping of time and endless possibilities.  

  Fast forward to 40 or 50, not to many firsts left, but there are a few.  The excitement of looking forward is a little tarnished with "been there, done that".  Responsibility sits on your shoulders like an oxens' yoke.  The fact is you aren't young.  You are younger than some, but not young.  Everything including possibilities has an end in sight on the other side of 40 and more so for every year after.  Right?  Wrong, here's where you choose.  I'm not talking cups half empty or full, either.  Youth trumps age is a perception promoted by media. And I strongly disagree.  

  If you heard a song you didn't like you change it.  A boring conversation will have you excusing yourself and not returning.  Invitations from people you don't enjoy will be declined.  So choose to embrace your life at any phase, reject pessimism, reject fear.  Change your frequency.   

  Start with gratitude and start that way everyday.  Flip every negative to a positive.  There is a positive in everything, look for it; it's there. Keep your thoughts positive and your words kind and supportive.  Think and speak about the things you love, often and with passion. 

  Do not speak about other people in a negative way.  You want to align yourself with loving and thankful thoughts and actions to start the shift.  Learn to laugh at things that might have upset you before.  Your health will thank you for this.  If you are thankful everyday for everything about yourself including the things that aren't your favorites you will you will know you are of great value.     

elle  

Later .......a gratitude poem for kids and resisting the urge to take offense......    

Looking Back On Our Week

Sundays.... are for reflecting on the blogging week updating and tips about anything, quotes, affirmations and what's coming in the week ahead.....
  First of all I hope you are relaxing, you can't work everyday....so sit, read, walk, nap, create, just for today.
Do you have down time? How do you spend it?  Do you think you  deserve it?
Update on meditation:  My third try was again flooded with thoughts but it wasn't like the levy broke or anything.  I slid them aside and returned to quiet my session ended thinking that this is something I want to keep at.
  My fourth attempt was a disaster...I came away anxious.  This time thinking that if I can't control my thoughts maybe I am completely out of control, hense the anxiety.  I pulled out of the nose dive with my gratitude list.  Realizing that no one with so much to be thankful for is out of control or has any business being anxious!  Then I wrote a poem: 
I need to find a place to go, a place to still my soul; 
Just a place within my head, a quiet little hole.
I want to get there quickly and just be on my own,
no spa, no massage, no need to travel
A sancutary inside myself to let my mind unravel
If I find I get upset; my stomach in a pit
I'll meditate and find that place and crawl inside of it...

Well that is what I am hoping for but we'll see.....

I am focused and consciencous everyday to fend off anything negative without love or like or just putting a smile on my face to stay on the right frequency.  Putting a smile on your face is quick and handy tool we should talk more about....:)

elle

TIP :     Remember that thoughts have energy and they are things.  They are part of a creative process that shapes your life.  Whenever you find yourself entertaining a negative thought immeditely return to thoughts of gratitude.  Negative attracts negative, love and gratitude attract whatever you love and are grateful for......

Next Week ....The power of a smile
                      A poem about gratitude for kids
                      Gratitude, positve thinking and your weight